Addiction is a vast topic and a complicated problem. Not just that, even the difference between different kinds of addiction is vast and complicated. And the best way to approach a complicated problem is to first simplify it. Or sometimes even oversimply it. Now, oversimplification or not, thematically at their core, all addictions are essentially just habits.
And there are two aspects of any habit (or addiction) that are crucial in breaking it:
1. Replacement
When we are trying to break an addiction or trying to eliminate a bad habit in general, we usually try to give it up entirely or reduce it decrementally. This essentially creates what I call a 'Habit Vacuum'. This vacuum is a problem because, like all vacuums, it is unstable and geared towards sucking back the same or worse patterns.
For example:Â Let's discuss one of the most addictive, common, and harmful habits out there: smoking. A smoker's brain is accustomed to expecting a cigarette at regular intervals, especially after a physical, mental, or emotional strain. Too many smokers want to and have tried to quit, but have repeatedly failed or found the attempt too painful. There are typically two reasons for this.
(1) Typically, it would take anyone somewhere between 21 to 180 days to kick a bad habit. But smoking is what I like to call a long habit. Meaning, arguably, smoking requires somewhere between 1 to 2 years to be truly kicked. Meaning, even if a smoker hasn't smoked in months, the possibility of relapse is high until about 2 years of not smoking.
(2) The second typical reason for relapse and failure to quit smoking is the 'habit vacuum'. As discussed before, when someone tries to kick a bad habit, it creates a vacuum which, if we are not paying attention, will usually try to fill itself with a harmful habit of the same or a worse nature. For example, people who are accustomed to smoking while drinking, end up drinking much more when they try to quit smoking. To avoid this detrimental effect of the habit vacuum, we need to consciously and deliberately replace the bad habit with something beneficial, or at least much less harmful. For example, while trying to quit smoking, instead of carrying cigarettes, we may start carrying small snacks. Eveytime the urge occurs, we can then munch on a portion of those snacks instead. Now, those snacks could be small bites of a fruit or a vegetable (like an apple or a carrot)-- beneficial. Or they could be a small bag of candy or potato chips– much less harmful than smoking.
The point is, beneficial or not, any bad habit we are trying to eliminate needs to be consciously replaced by something that creates a positive net effect, lest it gets unconsciously replaced by something that creates a neutral or a negative net effect.
The second aspect of any habit (or addiction) that is crucial in breaking it is:
2. Relapse
Relapse is always an essential part of the process of breaking a bad habit (or an addiction). Too many people try to improve a bad habit and, after a relapse or two, give up– thinking that they are not capable of changing or that their method of changing was faulty. But in truth, it takes a long time, a lot of consistent effort, and several relapses to truly transform an years-old bad habit into something worthwhile.
Bad as we might feel for relapsing, it is also an excellent opportunity to learn about ourselves. Each relapse gives us information about what makes us fall or falter. Each relapse helps us understand our triggers and stress patterns better, so we can inventory and strategize and be careful and prevent relapsing next time in the same way. If we relapse but the trigger goes unnoticed, it would be such a waste. Because we could have mitigated or avoided that trigger next time, getting closer and closer to chucking that habit for good.
For example:Â One of the common patterns of smoking is that smokers tend to need to smoke when they are waiting. When they have a few minutes to themselves. This is because boredom is uncomfortable and smoking feels productive. Now let's say a smoker is trying to quit and notices this trigger-pattern. This is a good opportunity to formulate a plan to avoid this trigger next time. They might start carrying a book with them, so they can instead read a bit when they are waiting. Or they may decide to call up a friend or a family member to catch up, a potentially good use of their waiting time. Few of the other common triggers for smoking are: social settings where other people are smoking, stress, and junky diet. As a side note: It commonly takes smokers dozens of minor relapses (relapsing after a week or so) and a few major relapses (relapsing after one or more months) to truly quit smoking.
The point is, a relapse of a bad habit doesn't mean that we have failed or that our method was faulty. We just need to sit down and analyse the reason for our relapse and strategize, plan and just retry.
Conclusion
If we can keep these two things in mind, and apply them well, any bad habit we want to change will be practically a piece of cake.
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